***Warning: This Entry Contains Material of a Questionable Subject Matter***
I almost never recall my dreams, and when I do they tend to fade immediately after waking up… but last night (April 10/11) I had four dreams of vivid color, sound, smell and touch… and remember fair amounts of them. Some of the details are now sketchy, but I wanted to post these here for posterity.
Dream 1: Washington, DC
The first dream involved Jesse Kappell, my good friend Cody’s brother, who knocked me out and put me in a car. I woke up three hours later in Washington, DC. I wasn’t upset with him, I actually thought it was pretty cool. We went to the Lincoln Memorial, and took photos and I called my friend Hannah from my phone to tell her where I was and that Lincoln is a douchebag.
In DC, all the sidewalks are moving — like conveyor belts, even going across the street like that. How cars drive over them, I don’t know. Maybe they stop until the “walk” sign goes on.
Jesse and I drove to some woman’s house who lived by the ocean in the side of a cliff. It’s like way down in a canyon or a crevice, with the house built into the rocks. From her window you could see a green rocky bluff and I asked her what it was called, but she said no one ever named it. The Founders didn’t see fit to name it, so why should they? We watched the sun set over the bluff from this house, and then drove back into town. (Getting across town takes like 5 minutes in this world, because all the monuments are within 2 or 3 blocks of each other and there’s not much else.)
Then we (me and Jesse) went to the mayor’s house, which is a combination between a house and an office with multiple floors. The mayor was there at the top of the stairs with a big bushy handlebar mustache and a name tag that said “The Mayor”. At least he didn’t wear a sash like Mayor McCheese. I stopped him coming out of a meeting, and his name was Mr. Isley. (The real mayor’s name is Mr. Fenty — I have no idea where Isley came from.) We took a photo together.
I had off of work the next day, but Jesse didn’t, so we drove back home.
Dream 2: Priest With Vanilla Pudding Smut Dream
I don’t recall the exact order of this dream, but I recall certain parts that are pretty bizarre.
In the beginning, I am not in the dream, but can see what is going on. My good friend [name removed] is naked in bed and a priest enters the room with a ceremonial bowl filled with a white-yellow substance that resembles vanilla pudding. He takes the bowl in his hands while standing at the foot of the bed, and drinks from it. He then crawls over her and proceeds to vomit the pudding all over her chest and neck. She is not fazed by this, but instead eats the vomit (which is now grey and crunchy) off her own chest… and then vomits it back up on herself a second time. The priest cleans her up and leaves the room.
I enter the bedroom, and crawl over the woman’s body, not unlike the priest. I am naked, and I start to put my finger inside her “woman parts”, which for some reason are very dry and cold to the touch. Very, very cold to the point where I am getting what feels like frostbite on my fingers, like it’s a frozen corpse or something. I mention this and she informs me that I have been massaging her anus on accident (which still doesn’t explain the frozen feeling). I switch to the correct passageway and after a while, we make love. (I don’t see any need to go into detail about that.)
Later, I am in a bed under the blankets surrounded by my father and two or three other old men I don’t recognize. They are having a conversation with me, but I’m not paying attention because I notice through the window that I can see into the window of the friend from before. She is just coming out of the shower or something, because she is topless in the same room from earlier. I can see her, but even though she could probably see me, she doesn’t look over. Next to the bed I am in, I find a bowl of the white-yellow pudding substance, and grab a handful of it. While watching out the window, surrounded by the old men, I use the pudding to play with myself…
Don’t remember anything after that.
Dream 3: Philosophy Class
I had a dream where my good friend Hannah Borg and myself were taking a philosophy class at some small college, with a classroom size of maybe 30 to 35 people. The professor, who I never saw before, gave a brief overview of what the course would be like, and wrote “Epitsemology” on the board. He asked what that was. I was in the front and remained silent. Hannah was in the back, and raised her hand and said “A=A”. (This is the law of identity as proposed by Leibniz… which, I suppose, could be considered the most fundamental truth.) The professor liked this answer, but said we wouldn’t be getting to it for a while.
Another student went up to the board and corrected the professor’s spelling so the word read “epistemology” (the branch of philosophy concerned with the nature and scope or limitations of knowledge). This frustrated the professor, who left the room through a missing wall (I didn’t notice up until now, but the classroom had only three walls). He got into a limo, said class was dismissed and he’s see us in two weeks.
The class got up, and Hannah and I walked down a parking ramp for quite a ways before we got back to our cars. I repeatedly had to stop because I was walking too fast for her. Once we got in our cars, this dream was over.
Dream 4: The Ticklish Taint
The final dream had me at Perkins on CE in Appleton, which is not an unusual place to find me. I was there with my good friend [name removed] and I think one other person, though I can’t recall who it was. We were in a booth (what would normally be “52”), except that the booth itself was removed and a semi-circular couch went around the table.
There wasn’t much to this dream, other than that at one point I reached under the couch cushions in order to tickle my friend in a sneaky way. I then, either accidentally or on purpose, tickled her taint — which, as we all know, is the most ticklish part of the human body. She jumped and was quite furious with me. Then [name removed] informed me that she had only been talking to me because she wanted to be “nice” and she didn’t really think I was cool at all. One of her female friends showed up and they left together.
Not much of a dream, but oh well.