This article was last modified on January 23, 2009.

Logbook for Great Midwest Trivia Contest XLIV

Here is my running update on Lawrence University’s trivia contest and our part in it. The team this year consists of only three people: myself, my sister Emily, and her boyfriend Shane. But we are a powerful team, able to compete against teams of 20 or 30 with relative ease. We were trained by the best.

In honor of our old team Lucky Guess (which has since disbanded), we have chosen the name Lucky Guess 2: Luckier Guess.

As I post this, the time is 9:57… the game begins in 3 minutes. (For rules and such, please consult prior logbooks (2008 or 2007(with dead photo links)) on this site, or the official Lawrence trivia site…)

10:00:37 — Opening Question

This is the time the contest is supposed to start, but the people at the radio station are idiots and have already broken the system… thanks, guys. (I blame you, Erin Campbell Watson.)

10:23pm, Friday — Opening Question, Part 2

The opening question is worth 100 points (most questions are worth 5) and is the same as the LAST question from last year, therefore allowing them to call this the longest-running trivia contest, despite the fact scores reset each year…

Q: In the “Citadel of Opportunity” section of “An Invitation to the International Olympic Committee to Celebrate the XIX Olympiad at Detroit, Michigan, U.S.A.” there is a photograph of a girl wearing a sign around her neck. This sign bears the name of what notable figure?

Answer: Josephine Baker

12:03am Saturday

Nothing too fun yet today… here’s some Latin fun for you…

“SPQR is an initialism from a Latin phrase, Senatus Populusque Romanus (“The Senate and the People of Rome” or “The Senate and Roman People”), referring to the government of the ancient Roman Republic, and used as an official signature of the government. It appears on coins, at the end of documents made public by inscription in stone or metal, in dedications of monuments and public works, and was emblazoned on the standards of the Roman legions. The phrase appears many hundreds of times in Roman political, legal and historical literature, including the speeches of Marcus Tullius Cicero and the history of Titus Livius. Since the meaning and the words never vary, except for the spelling and inflection of populus in literature, Latin dictionaries classify it as a formula. SPQR is the motto of the city of Rome and appears in the city’s coat of arms, as well as on many of the city’s civic buildings and manhole covers.”


Looking for that perfect gift for your hunting woman? Consider the Sarah-Cuda, just in time for Valentine’s Day!


We have missed many in a row now, sometimes due to just not getting in… this is why big teams are important (more phones). Here’s how to make an all-wheel drive car from two K cars:

1:06am — Zombie Hour

ZOMBIE HOUR BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! I love zombie sculptures!!


Two for two on Zombie Hour… and here’s some news from a real newspaper, not from the contest:

LAGOS, Nigeria – One of Nigeria’s biggest daily newspapers reported that police implicated a goat in an attempted automobile theft. In a front-page article on Friday, the Vanguard newspaper said that two men tried to steal a Mazda car two days earlier in Kwara State, with one suspect transforming himself into a goat as vigilantes cornered him. The paper quoted police spokesman Tunde Mohammed as saying that while one suspect escaped, the other transformed into a goat as he was about to be apprehended. The newspaper reported that police paraded the goat before journalists, and published a picture of the animal. Police in the state couldn’t immediately be reached for comment. Belief in black magic is widespread in Nigeria, particularly in far-flung rural areas.

We are eating good here. After a Culver’s dinner, we are now enjoying chili made by Mr. Eric Dorn. Lots of chips and crackers donated by my mother and LOTS of caffeine-infused beverages. In the morning? Eggs.


Zombie foreplay? Skull fucking. (Actual question and answer.)

2:12am — Thanks for the Chocolates, Hannah

4:40am — Still Awake

We’re now in “4:20 Hour”… so we get nice questions about Billy Bong Thornton, Wesley Pipes and the legendary smoke/coffee shop De Dampkring (Dutch for “Atmosphere”) in Holland…

4:54 — 4:20 Hour Goes On

Good news: Teen girls. Bad news: They’re blonde. Too blonde.

5:46am — Still Awake

They’ve played Toto’s “Africa” finally. I have requested some Flight of the Conchords and asked for less “Juno” soundtrack… much less…

6:58am — Yes, Still Awake

Engrish rules.

7:11am — Baba Yaga!

7:36 — I Think I’ve Gone Blind

Here’s the worst web site of 2008.

9:02 — Where are all the theme hours???

I’m still awake (over 27 hours now) and I swear… It’s not my fault.


Think I’m going to bed for a bit… not feeling as good as I’d like, and I need to survive the night.

4:16pm Saturday — Back

Was woken up about 15 minutes ago… not quite as much sleep as I may have wanted. I am in a cold sweat, so my suspicions of being unwell seem to be confirmed. Oh well. Trivia must prevail!

5:57pm — Shane has Finally Napped

Not much has been noteworthy for the past coupl hours… no AMAZING questions. But here’s a video:

6:08 — Trombone Hour

I picked the wrong bloc to nap in.

6:59 — God Riddance, Trombone Hour

Q: He was born November 2, 1865 and was the first President to speak on the radio. I’m not sure what he said. Something about the 7th caller winning the job of Vice President. Who was he?

A: Warren G. Harding. He was the 29th U.S. President. He was the only U.S. President who chewed tobacco and played the trombone. At the same time. Which probably explains why he never got a job in the orchestra.

Q: What’s the difference between a trombone player and a bag of shit?

A: The bag.

7:34pm Saturday — Finally a Good Question

A question about a Kurt Vonnegut reference — in the film “The Recruit”, what virus is named after a Kurt Vonnegut entity? There are numerous references to Kurt Vonnegut Jr., including the computer virus being named Ice-9 (from “Cat’s Cradle”), Clayton reading “Slaughterhouse Five” at the coffee shop, and Clayton referring to his father’s eggs as the “Breakfast of Champions”.

Ice-9 is awesome — it’s an isotope of water that freezes at room temperature. Its release into the air would cause the world to freeze.

7:51pm — Santa and His Female Deer


9:52pm — Hello

My sister informs me I haven’t updated in a while. There’s been a lack of interesting questions and videos. (I think part of this is due to “Black People Hour”). We have also only had 4 correct answers in the past 2 hours… our percentage is at a dismal 49.23%

11:45pm — Shane Returns

For the tiem being, we are a three person team again, though Emily may nod off soon. Rumor is that Bank of Kaukauna is SECOND place, the lowest they’ve been in like 9 years. We aren’t anywhere near that…

Here are the 14 categories animals can be divided into according to a mythical Chinese encyclopedia: (a) belonging to the Emperor, (b) embalmed, (c) tame, (d) sucking pigs, (e) sirens, (f) fabulous, (g) stray dogs, (h) included in the present classification, (i) frenzied, (j) innumerable, (k) drawn with a very fine camel-hair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) having just broken the water pitcher, (n) that from a long way off look like flies

12:03am Sunday — Batman Hour Begins!

Batman hour? Yes! With Death and Destruction Hour probably not far behind…

Also, I found this book while looking for Holling Clancy Holling’s “Book of Indians”. I had this book as a child and it gave me nightmares. Even now, seeing its cover fills me with dread, though I can recall no specific stories. Today, little scares me, yet my childhood fears have become internalized… weird.

2:24am Sunday — Random Thoughts

So, Batman Hour was followed up with (a lackluster) Death and Destruction Hour… Emily has passed out. Sloppy Joes were pretty damn tasty. (Did I mention Eric’s awesome chili last night? Very good stuff.) And, mysteriously, for the first and last time this weekend we used an actual BOOK to get an answer (Nikki Sixx’s diary).

I was going for 6 “top of the head” answers, and I only got one… with about 20 hours remaining…

3:21am Sunday — Sex Hour

Vagina Hero… mash that blue button!

4:28am — Weirdness Sets In, Watson Fellowship Hour

That cracked me up pretty good… I also learned that people ask the darnedest things on Yahoo.

5:47am — 17 Hours Remaining

“Space, said NASA, smells like hot metal and fried steak.”

“Epidemiologists observed that pregnant women whose urine contains high levels of phthalates—chemicals commonly found in plastics and cosmetics—tend to have baby boys whose anuses and scrota are abnormally close together.”

“Neurologists found that many people’s brains contain a designated neuron for identifying Jennifer Aniston.”

“Percentage of Americans in 2006 who believed that U.S. Muslims should have to carry special I.D.: 39”

“Number of members of the rock band Anthrax who said they hoarded Cipro so as to avoid an “ironic death”: 1”

8:02am — Seahorses For Breakfast

“A typical Chinese medicine practice is to grind dried seahorse into powder and combine it with herbs for the treatment of a large number of ailments, but most commonly impotence. “They have some other minor uses, but virtually all the supply used in Chinese medicine has gone to this one application,” says Subhuti Dharmananda, director of the Institute for Traditional Medicine in Portland, Oregon.”

8:34am — Whale Penis

Shane says I should post the photo, but I think you can settle for a link… all 3 of us are awake now, by the way.

12:00pm — Trivia broke

Shane here (Gavin fell asleep during the break) The trivia web broadcast was down for about 2 hours from approx 10am-12pm, it was very saddening, but at the same was very helpful to get some stuff done during the weekend that I normally wouldn’t be able to

1:00pm — Pwn N00bs Hour!!!

Gavin is still asleep, but if you want to know how to make the boob physics more “bouncier” increase your age in the game settings

2:51pm — Ironman vs Batman

I think I should wake up Gavin soon, this one man team thing isn’t working out very well…

3:28pm — Gavin Returns

I See what happens… I pass out and Shane messes with the logbook. Hmmmm…. oh well, I’ll watch that Iron Man video later. Yes, the trivia crashed around 10, and so did I. Other than being briefly woken up to “re-register” the team, I was out for a good four hours… just enough to make it through the rest of the weekend, most likely.

I wonder how poorly we’re doing… my neck and shoulders are tense.

4:06pm — 6 Hours Left

6:18pm — 4 Hours Left

I’ve had more sloppy joes than you can shake a stick at, and I’m about to have more. Sorry for the lack of interesting posts… we’ve been distracted with “IndestructoTank”, the second greatest online game ever.

6:53 — The Trivia Masters are awesome

Okay, they may be technologically incompetent, what with the late start and system crash…. but this year’s masters have been very obliging and friendly via the AIM (wlfmnetdj). I’ve gotten some birthday shout-outs, a few song requests, and after a dispute abou the greatness of nachos, they were kind enough to read a statement on air: “Nachos are like the spiritual culmination of cheese and chips, like ninjas — only edible!”

8:27 pm — Two Hours Left

8:39pm — Fuck Coconuts

9:19pm — More On-Air Fun

One of the trivia masters read my letter to Michelle Obama on the air… lots of fun this year.

9:51pm — The End?

In the past few years, the non-Garruda questions went until at least 10. Not this year. Nope. 9:40 and it was all over… so unless by some miracle we get a Garruda, this is hour 48 and the end for us.

January 31 — One Week Later

Shortly after 10pm last week, my laptop crashed… leaving us stuck in 15th place, and with one remote team member who knew a Garruda unable to send IM…

15th for what is basically a 2 person team is pretty good, though far short of last year… we’ll just have to bring it up to speed for 2010.

Also try another article under Personal
or another one of the writings of Gavin.

2 Responses to “Logbook for Great Midwest Trivia Contest XLIV”

  1. bentr7833 Says:

    I dispute this diagram, grapefruit is easy and tasty.

  2. Candie Says:

    You guys are doing awesome for a 3 person team, 15th! Good luck in the Garrudas! Maybe Lucky Guess can reclaim it’s name and fuck over the Bank of Kaukauna! :)

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