March 12, 2003
Burger King Corporate Office:
5505 Blue Lagoon Drive
Miami, FL 33126
Whom it May Concern:
I am writing today first to compliment and then to further suggest ideas concerning the Burger King 99 Cent Value Menu.
First, I must compliment you on the plethora of quality choices offered by this menu. It is the very definition of “a bounty of goodness.” I have tried them all and find it hard to choose one I like above the others. Is it the scrumptious hickory-smoked bacon cheeseburger or the mouth-watering sourdough burger? It is like choosing between my children (if I had any). And at just 99 cents, I find I can afford a quality sandwich almost any time – by simply digging under my seats or in the ashtray for a few spare nickels and dimes!
A hamburger – a good hamburger – is a goldmine of delight. A cheeseburger is so much more. The very thought of that gooey cheddar cheese and crispy bacon is making me anxious and a little bit excited. But surely you know the feeling, as we are both hamburger connoisseurs!
My only real complaint with the value menu is the fact it is 99 cents rather than a dollar. Sure, I save a penny when I choose you over McDonalds (who were fools to remove the Big N Tasty). But the math involved and the counting of change is an added burden for both myself and your employees.
I live in Outagamie County, Wisconsin where we enjoy a modest 5% sales tax. This makes the dollar easy to tax – we have increments of $1.05, $2.10, $3.15, etc. With 99 cents we are subject to the tyranny of $1.04, $2.09, $3.14, etc. which creates an unneccesary flow of pennies. Nobody likes pennies!
The math gets far more complicated when we go to Milwaukee or Green Bay, where they have an annoyingly asisine 5.5% sales tax. Trying to figure that out is unbearably awful. In this case, nobody wins, and no matter what price is charged for a burger the counting of change is required.
I will give you credit in one regard. Minnesota embraces a 6% sales tax, as I discovered when I tried to buy a deck of playing cards in St. Cloud (a beautiful town) at the local Media Play, a store owned by Best Buy. This 6% tax is a travesty to the dollar, creating the change problem again – and this time even worse! But with 99 cents we are back to the beautifully round $1.05. Oh glorious day! So I’d rather eat at Burger King in Minnesota than I would in Appleton or Green Bay, if it weren’t for the five hour drive.
I guess we just can’t win with regards to this issue as long as the taxman continues to fuck us over like our troops did to the Vietnamese at Mai Lai in the 1970s. And I can’t blame you, a quality business, for the government’s bullshit.
I am eagerly awaiting your response on this issue.
Gavin C. Schmitt
209 E. 17th St.
Kaukauna, Wi 54130