This article was last modified on March 12, 2003.


Ford Customer Relationship Center

March 12, 2003

Ford Customer Relationship Center
P.O. Box 6248
Dearborn, MI 48126

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to you today to comment on the backseat space provided by the Ford Escort, primarily the 1988 and 1997 models.

When I turned 16 I had a 1988 Escort, gray in color. It was very dependable as far as not breaking down and the gas mileage was ideal for a student on a budget. However, the back seat was decidedly small. I enjoyed bringing my friends to the mall or to school, but received numerous complaints about the room they were given. I am not a large man, so it was not because the seat was too far back or anything of my doing. Due to unforeseen circumstances, this car was no longer functional as of June 1997.

About a year later, I believe in August 1998, I was driving a Dodge Neon (1995) against my wishes – I have always been a loyal Ford customer. The gas mileage was alright and I found the driving capabilities to be adequate. In August I agreed to meet a girl I met online at her home in Minnesota. Beautiful girl of Dutch descent, blonde with dazzling eyes and as sleek as a panther. The Neon made the drive there and back without any problem.

While in Minnesota (St. Augusta, to be precise) I had the pleasure of engaging in sexual contact with this young woman at a local park in the back seat of the Neon. It was very enjoyable, due equally to her skill and also to the space provided me by the Dodge Neon. I still had to manuever a little (I’m 6′ 1″) but for the most part everything came out alright. I have no complaints and I received none from her.

Currently I am driving a white Ford Escort LX, 1997 model. The gas mileage is fine, and it is fairly dependable. I have had to bring it in to the shop, but this was largely my fault. Also, the carbon builds up due to faulty valve springs, but that is an entirely different issue. I want to talk about the back seat.

I have only once sat in the back seat, and found it to be not up to par with my space standards. Granted, I have felt closed in with small spaces since I had a bad reaction to the “rave” drug Special K. But still, it was tighter than ten virgins back there. I have had only two or three sexual experiences in my current automobile, all of which were in the front seat. We were parked two of the three times, of course. Only Charlie Sheen could do that shit in a moving vehicle.

In conclusion, I feel that any future designs for Ford coupe-style cars should take into account the space needs of rear passengers and those who wish to engage in the timeless tradition of backseat love. I have heard the Taurus is spacier, I might have to try that next.

Please share any insight you may have on this pertinent issue.

Sincerely,

 

Gavin C. Schmitt
209 E. 17th St.
Kaukauna, WI 54130

Also try another article under Letters to ...
or another one of the writings of Gavin.

One Response to “Ford Customer Relationship Center”

  1. antoine m mourad Says:

    To hwom it may concern
    I am writing to you today to comment on the paint job provided by ford explorer primarily the 2003 model.When I bought my brand new ford explorer I was happy and very exited and I loved my suv.About three years later I noticed that the paint on the front of the hood is bubling and peling so I send to many emails and complaint but I was very disappointed from ford company to tell me we cannot help you at all.I will not buy ford again and I will not recommend any body to buy ford becouse, I think ford they should have better customer service and customer satisfaction.You can call me if you want@(734)544-3340 I am looking forward to here from you before I call chanell 7 bill for action.

    sincerely
    Antoine m mourad
    7413 dover dr.
    ypsilanti,mi,48197

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